This game, if you haven’t played it, is a bitch.
It’s one of those fiendishly complicated games that organically sprouts from vintage classics like Rick Dangerous and Jet Set Willy; put simply, it’s a level based platformer in which you carefully maneuvre from the top of the level to the bottom about twelve times, and then fight one, final, titanic boss.What complicates this is the chaotic arsenal of weaponry, powerups, random encounters, environments and treasures that will litter your stochatically-generated path into the abyss. On a moderately successful playthrough you might collect half a dozen of these, and although each item bestows a simple and easily mastered (albeit never explicity explained) power, the meticulously crafted abilities interact in such a way that you don’t simply work out how to play Spelunky. You develop a style. The way that you play when you’ve found a cape and a climbing glove will land you dead in a hole if you try it with a shotgun and a bagful of ropes, even though the shotgun is arguably the most powerful weapon in the game. Continue reading
In which Rich contracts the Flu of Men and whines about it
Seriously, fuck lung fluids.
It’s pretty much exactly not what I want to be in my lungs. This is a new phenomenon to me, and in close to thirty years on the planet I’ve got a nice little routine worked out for the common cold. It goes sneezy, sneezy, runny snotty, snotty, snotty, clogged. Followed by pulling an incredibly satisfying rubberlike replica of my upper respiratory system through my nasal canal. The common cold is supposed to be *common*. I don’t need the addition of an extra fucking round of being waterboarded…
It’s over! It’s finally over! America has squatted and done a democracy all over DC, and the world can get back to senator’s cocks on twitter for the next four years. Well, two years until the run-up starts again. For some people, that’s too long – like Don Trump’s apparent call for insurrection on Capitol Hill. I suppose if he’s trying to start a dictatorship based on a cult of personality, you can’t deny that he does technically have a lot of it – in that he’s essentially a Spitting Image puppet of himself…
I’m not quite certain if Muse are taking the piss here. One moment I’m feeling pleased with myself for recognising the meter from Michael Jackson’s Thriller in the verse of Panic Station, then I’m catapulted into the chorus from into Billy Idol’s White Wedding – a track that also seemed to echo through Uprising on Muse’s last album. Which would have been commented on more if everyone hadn’t already been launching into Blondie’s Call Me every time the a verse started and Shoot the Runner whenever it ended. Continue reading
So, Jon Stewart and Bill O’Reilly did a thing the other night.
It’s always nice to see Stewart and BillO’ going at each other; it’s generally pretty entertaining and while I don’t agree with O’Reilly’s political views, I respect that I think he believes in them. He and his relatively diminutive colleague also seem to share a similar view of each other, so sparring matches are frequent, merciless, entertaining and engaging. This was no exception, and well worth the five bucks for the download.
According to posts on hipster-oracle Reddit, the new Karl Urban fuelled Dredd 3D is doing fairly badly at the box office. I went to see it last week and was blown away, and I’m slightly concerned that the poor showing is a nail in the coffin of both intelligently crafted comicbook adaptations, and the Dredd franchise. While Dredd isn’t Citizen Kane, it’s really rather good. So I reckon it’s time viral advertising got all up in this puppy; let me climb inside your head and mop up some preconceptions… Continue reading
Dragonette’s turning into a bit of a regular on my playlists. The angular Canadian Julia Louis-Dreyfus lookalike has been spurting enjoyable saccharine synth-pop consistently in their last few albums, and I let out a girlish squeal when “Bodyparts” plopped lovingly into the Spotify “What’s New” tab (displacing Canada’s foremost jailbait imitator, Carly Rae Jepsen, who at twenty-seven somehow still manages to look younger than Miley Cyrus)…